My awakening was scary as hell. I was in college, living at home, and on this night, alone. The front door opened and I heard footsteps walking towards my bedroom, tucked away on the second floor. I hid under my covers with my eyes closed but saw a piercing blue white light. I heard the sound that "metallic" might make and my bed violently shock. Then in an instance, all was calm.
That event herald a series of seeing levitating objects, seeing "ghosts" and feeling invisible fingers poke me and pry closed-eyes open.
I met a Medium named Nora Lee, who cleared my home and taught me how to help earthbound spirits move on. She told me I was an empath it, proving it by giving me objects to touch and to tune in, sharing their stories with unexpected accuracy. She instructed me to draw in my aura, to tell "them" to leave me alone if I was scared. But I just wanted it to stop.
In the Fall I moved into an apartment in Boston. Within a few weeks of moving in I awoke to see a woman standing at the foot of the bed. I screamed and struggled to free myself from my bedsheets. She smiled, realizing that I saw her, then reached out to try to comfort me. But I was terrified and quickly made my way to my roommate's bedroom.
The next night I was woken up to see my attic bedroom walls fill with the tormented drawings of a child. In the morning I called Nora Lee. She told me she was having family issues and I'd need to cross this woman into the Light on my own.
I had a friend who was a Goth, and I thought she would be open to this experience, so I asked her if she would come help me. I told the woman, whose name I learned was Anna, that I would help her but until then she needed to leave me alone.
My friend, Laura, came over, black hair, black lips and eyes, black dress and black shoes. We lit candles, sat on my bedroom floor and I said the only prayer I know.
Our Father, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
As it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
The power, and the glory,
For ever and ever.
Anna accused Laura of being a witch and demon worshipper and refused to engage in the ceremony to bring her to the Light. I was heartsick. We called it a night and I went to bed.
When I closed my eyes, Anna's energy drew near to make a confession. My mind's eye view became her perspective. "I" opened a bedroom door, saw "my" young daughter in bed with "my husband". My eyes met my daughter's swollen, tear stained, fearful and pleading eyes. I withdrew and quietly closed the door.
Anna was earthbound because she felt she needed to confess her self-described sins. She confessed that she did nothing. That she hated her husband. That her daughter hung herself.
She feared that her daughter was banned from heaven for taking her own life. She feared she would go to hell for not stopping the abuse. She feared that if her religious beliefs were wrong, that her husband might be waiting for her on the other side.
And with the confession, Anna was released from her guilt and shame. She crossed over peacefully.
After that experience, as well as a series of unfortunate events, I became very depressed. Stay in bed all day depressed. I shut down to everything.
As the years passed I had a handful of psychic experiences but it wasn't until I turned 43 that I wanted to see if I could develop control and set aside fear. Since then I have been fast tracked on my spiritual journey. I've received messages from the loved ones of family, friends and strangers. I've learned how to link with a person's guardian angel. I have remote viewed homes, clearing earthbound energies, demons and residual energies caused by dark emotions or loss of life. I have been taught how to sense an energetic cord to people, animals, places, situations or thoughts that deplete energy. I have been shown curses and black magic, then guided to remove them. I have been shown past life issues as well current life hardships and trauma that need healing. And while I'm still very much on an every evolving journey, part of me has already evolved into a spiritual person.
My biggest struggle is blending this persona within my established identity. My biggest resistance is to the look, speak and feel of this world and it's icons.
I'm not religious, although I recognize and work with Angels and ascended masters. I am not New Age, although I embrace the transformative powers of love, light and crystals.
I'm interested in metaphysics and quantum mechanics on an intuitive level, however my formal understanding is surface. I embrace the energies of alchemy and magick, but I'm not one to study great mysteries of life.
I'm trying to figure out how best to communicate experiences and messages, so they may ring true, be relatable and demonstrate "evidence". I strive to become more worldly so I may better understand the symbols and reference points for a global audience.
I also realize that stepping into my calling means trusting my guides and gut. It means finding my own voice and buzzwords that feel authentic and relatable. It means sharing knowledge and empowering others to harness their own inner power. "Learn how to work with energy yourself and manifest health, love, peace and abundance in your life", that's what I strive to pay forward.