What She Needed To Say Before Goodbye

Dedicated to Eva.

When we moved to London I embarked on a journey of reinventing myself. I decided I didn't want to build a new life with the same pieces of my previous life. I wanted to do something that illuminated my unique talents and I wanted to be self-sufficient in the endeavor. So I decided to become a Medium.

One day when I dropped my son off for school one of his teachers commented that I looked nice and asked where I was going. I told her I was taking some classes. "Oh? What are you studying?". I panicked then told her the eccentric truth. "Well, if you ever want to practice, I'm the perfect person to practice on. I don't believe in that stuff."

At the end of the school year she approached me again and told me she was ready to have a reading. Throughout the year we had gotten to know one another a bit. I knew that her dad died when she was a kid. I knew that her and her partner had split up and that they had two kids. I knew she was a DJ and music producer and that we had a mutual music connection back in Boston. And I knew she was still a skeptic.

When I arrived at her home I was "told" that I needed to start by giving her some healing. I was told to ground her and help open her heart chakra. I then began with an angelic reading, giving her loving advice and insights to her relationships and their futures. Then her father stepped in.

I get really, really nervous when I connect with loved ones in Spirit. I want to honor the relationship. I want my link and evidence to be perfect. I want to help heal. So when I saw him, the person she'd want to hear from IF she believed it possible, I became very anxious. I immediately knew that he did not cross over, as his sudden death would leave his two young children fatherless. And they had already been through so much. The divorce. The move overseas. So he stayed with his daughter, son and second wife energetically.

I asked him to tell me how he passed. Heart attack. I asked him to show or tell me things that his daughter would understand. He gave me "Ain't No Sunshine", walking in the woods and "I love you, Buttercup." She confirmed that he died from a heart attack and that walking in the woods was their thing. She couldn't take the rest.

Her kids arrived home so we wrapped up the reading abruptly. I hadn't proved the continuity of her father's life after death so I didn't ask for a message and I didn't cross his spirit over. In fact, he refused to let me. He needed to talk to his daughter first.

By the time that I got home I had a message from her asking if she could call me. When I rang she sounded freaked out. She told me that after I left she phoned her ex-partner but that she got a crossed line on her cell. She could hear a man talking on the other line. Then she heard her ex say her name.

I then knew that she had become a believer, that her father had spoken to her and that I could cross him over. And I did.

The other day I received a text from her that said that a friend of hers had died unexpectedly and she wanted to know if she was ok. The friend had been undergoing cancer treatment for a year, then her health took a dramatic turn for the worse. She passed one week after being hospitalized, leaving her eight-year-old-child motherless.

I knew the answer before tuning in. I found her friend in a state of shock. Looking into a hospital room that blended into her child's bedroom. She was crying and desperate to get to her daughter. I approached the earthbound spirit and told her that her friend had sent me. I asked her if I could help her and I told her that after I helped her we would talk. She nodded silently through her seemingly endless tears.

I asked the angelic realm for her healing. I saw fragments of her spirit return to her body. I saw the energy of the chemotherapy leave her body. She was bathed in love and in light then transformed to an almost angelic looking energy herself.

Next I asked her what she needed. She wanted her sister to agree to become a mother to her daughter. She wanted to be involved with decisions related to her daughter. And she wanted to say goodbye.

I was told that I needed to wait to cross her over as her energy needed to stabilize, that I needed to continue to send healing and I needed to relay her messages. I hesitated. I had never met this woman and I knew that everyone who cared for her was in pain. I did not want to add to it. What if what I was given was wrong? But what if it was right?

I passed the message along and sent healing the next day.

On the third day I spent the morning with my husband. We took a walk along the Thames, strolled into the Tate Modern shop and I walked over to the Children's book section. I picked up "The Fox and The Star" by Coralie Pickford-Smith. I put it down and walked away. I returned and picked it up. I put it down and walked away. I picked it back up and purchased it.

Then I walked to a park to meditate, to see how the woman was and to find out whether or not I could help crossover her spirit. As soon as I closed my eyes I could see her. "I need you to get a message to Eva," she communicated. I took out my phone and typed what was dictated.

Dear Eva,
I'm sorry. It's not fair that I had to leave before you were grown. There is so much I wanted to do with you, like pick out a puppy.
I want you to know that a piece of me will always live in your heart. If you ever need me, look to the stars and know I am with you.
Please let Nanny love you and help take care of you. Be strong, be brave and always remember how proud I am that you are my daughter.
I'll love you for an eternity, V.
Love,
Mum

She said thank you and the angels crossed her into the light.

I felt sick to my stomach as I read back all the specific details that I COULD have heard wrong. I felt sick about passing this message on. What if? But I typed the text to my son's former teacher and hit "send". Then I heard, "Look at the book."

"The Fox and The Star."

The book was for Eva and the message was the inscription. I took a photo of the book and sent that too.

Then I read the story for the first time.

He knew that 
somewhere
out there was
a star that
once was his.

I highly recommend this book to any dreamer, anyone who may have lost their star or anyone who has a hard time believing. Back Cover: "Once there was a Fox who lived in a deep, dense forest. For as long as Fox could remember, his only friend had been Star, who lit the forest paths for Fox each night. But then one night, Star was not there, and Fox had to face the darkness all alone..."